


Grown

by orphan_account



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:35:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26414284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Bad doesn’t know when he was supposed to feel grown. He knows he should’ve felt it already. The growing pains are long gone and he no longer trips over his own feet.He lives alone. He goes to work. Does his taxes and laundry and cooks himself food and yet still doesn’t feel grown. He doesn’t know if he ever will.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 105





	Grown

Bad doesn’t know when he was supposed to feel grown. He knows he should’ve felt it already. The growing pains are long gone and he no longer trips over his own feet.

He lives alone. He goes to work. Does his taxes and laundry and cooks himself food and yet still doesn’t feel grown. He doesn’t know if he ever will.

-

Minecraft is an escapism. A child’s game away from the adult world he’s meant to live in.

He falls in love.

He loves the simplistic design and the open ended possibilities. He loves the mini games and servers. If he goes to work tired most days after hours of playing it’s worth it.

-

As a preteen he watched his friends curse and awkwardly listened. It feels wrong. The words sound so dirty and forbidden. Something that the older kids said.

They are not even in high school yet but his friends swore like no tomorrow. Puffing out their chest trying to look big and repeating the few curse words they know. They try to get Bad to say some words but he refuses. His mom would be mad. They call him a pussy.

He later remembers trying them in secret. Screaming the curses into the mirror, trying to get used to words awful taste on his tongue. His reflection looks ancient.

In his early streaming days he curses whenever he could. Everyone did it. By cursing he was being normal, he was fitting in. However, the words felt wrong on his tongue. Heavy and crude and o so grown.

He switches it to muffins and feels worlds better.

-

Skeppy is one of the few who doesn’t try to be grown.

He acts annoying and childish and pushes every single one of Bad’s buttons. He constantly is laughing and playing pranks. Trolling his server and being a general nuisance. Calling him bald and quacking. It's incredibly irritating but overall harmless.

Bad can’t help be overjoyed to find someone else like him.

Skeppy laughs freely and talks to him about everything and anything. They build houses and get pets and they tell each other short stories about ducks. Playing house.

Skeppy tells him I love you and calls him cute. He tells him he’s his best friend in the whole world. Skeppy’s words fill Bad with warmth and in the child world these words were good. Things friends said to each other.

In the adult world it holds deeper implications. Saying it causes ridicule and slurs. “Men don’t do those things”. Bad doesn’t like the adult world.

-

Bad sees Skeppy act grown around others. He curses and uses dating apps and Bad can’t help but feel the slightest bit hurt.

-

At 6, Bad remembers falling and scraping his knee. He cries and cries and kids not even a year older laugh. “What a baby” they say as he tries to slow his sniffles but is unable to stop the tears. They laugh at him. Bad doesn’t understand why they find it funny.

At 10, he stares at the run over dog and his eyes well up with tears. His friends walk past barely even glancing. “It’s just an animal,” they say with a shrug. “Why are you crying!” He doesn’t know how people could be so cruel.

Crying was the normal reaction to pain both physical and mental. People only stopped after others told them it wasn’t right. He doesn’t understand why everyone else wants to be grown and hard and too tough to cry.

-

Of his friends he’s the oldest but they treat him like a child.

Out loud he complains but quietly he loves it. He likes the way their cursing quiets, innuendos slow and the subjects become light.

He knows the jokes Sapnap, Dream and George make when they’re alone. The rampant flirting and references. But they slow it down for him. They don’t stop being themselves but they’re quieter.

They let him sing his songs and say bounce and he loves them more than anything for it. They don’t try to change him or make him act like them.

-

When asked his age Bad could never seem to remember. He’d wrack his brain yet still he often came up with the wrong answer. Always saying something younger than what he actually was.

Skeppy always laughs and doesn’t take it seriously.

-

Watching Tommy always makes Bad feel hollow. He watches as the boy calls himself big and constantly tries to act older than he is. He curses and screams and yells puffing out his chest trying to be bigger. He can’t help but feel sad.

His escapism world is broken as Tommy joins the voice chat. Cursing and screaming and for once Bad hates someone. He yells for him to stop and the boy just continues with more vigor. Bad can’t handle it and leaves.

He shakes with frustration, tears well up in Bad’s eyes and he doesn’t understand. He doesn't know how Tommy could act like that. Be so young and yet act so old and angry.

He doesn’t join the world again until Tommy leaves.

-

In truth, Bad knows he is 25. He’s not a kid. He does taxes and goes to work and makes himself food.

Yet he still doesn’t feel grown and he doesn’t think he ever will.

**Author's Note:**

> Just yeah for post pretty shit ngl.


End file.
